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Izzah Husna

Lost & Found

Sometimes I fear of my own capability

To smile and laugh and dance and sing

Of my happiness, to other people.

While my thoughts are succumbing me

Into a place where sunshine could not reach.

I fear of the times I flew so high above

Because I know how excruciating the pain

Will be when I fall, harshly, upon the cold ground.

I fear of the person I turn into

When there is nobody around.

I fear of the voices that will fill the comfortable silence

When everybody has left the room, door shut to a close.

The feelings of not being able to embrace happiness anymore,

Scares me to the point I cower, in tears as wounds

Decorated my body like the jewelries I used to cherish.

A lot of things seem pointless now

And my strength – my will to breathe again, slowly dissipates

Gone, with the silent movement of the wind.

I reached my limit but He is there,

When nobody listens and nobody knows, He

Comforts by blowing faith that soon lit up my frozen heart. He

Answered my request that I made through quiet prayers. Now I

Am standing again and breathing like I used to. I

Am able to smile and laugh and dance and sing again

Without the fear of falling from high above

Without the fear of succumbing into sadness

As I believe that those dark times

Those dark, horrible times

Are what bringing me closer, nearer

To my Most Merciful Creator.

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