maybe today I am empty
and that it feels as if the void can never be occupied
it stays there, vacant for years
waiting,
not for a person to push me out from the loneliness within
but rather wanting another soul to just be there with me
and have their presence brightens up my day
they make me look at the world a little less bleak than it always has been
for maybe today,
i finally look forward to tomorrow
i know that being able to feel content with your own company is important
but tell me,
how long can I convince myself that I am also lovable if love never comes to me
some days, constant questions of
“am I even worthy of love?”
linger in my head
and to think that I can feel at ease within your embrace
my world no longer shakes of anxiety and intrusive thoughts
i’d like to think that you made me a better person
who now, is learning to hug herself when she is sad
who no longer seeks another just to feel pretty
i guess today, I can say I am half-empty
and half-free
because the other half of me will always try to search for you
but I am more accepting of the things that could have been
as I can always become
but you will never be.
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