Strange Solance

Eleven years ago, when I was six, I had the misfortune of experiencing a terror-stricken nightmare. In that dream, I was thrown into a room with no door and windows, where pitch-black darkness stretched miles and miles into infinity. None of my limbs were visible, the still air amplified my violent wheezes, and I could feel vomit-inducing chemicals pulsating through my blood streams. The worst part was realizing that I was not alone in the dark – something else was breathing with me in that God-forsaken world. Its warm, ragged pants blew the strands of hair on my left shoulder. When I woke up, my parents were already hugging my small, sweaty body. They said I thrashed around in my sleep like a fish out of water. From then on, I have always slept with the lights on, even when science strongly disapproves of that habit.

However, today is my best friend’s birthday, and Rebecca expects me to be there for her birthday sleepover (of course). I have never been on sleepovers specifically to avoid exposing my embarrassing fear of the dark. While I was restlessly packing my clothes, Mum came in to check on me. “Why don’t you explain to Reb about this whole thing? She’s your best friend, after all.” I gave it a quiet thought and decided that I will tell her after her birthday. For the moment, I would just deal with it alone.

When confetti poppers flooded the floor, cakes cut, gifts given, and the late night blanketed the sky as well as our tired bodies, I found myself wide awake next to Rebecca, who was already in deep slumber. From time to time, I would glance at the light switch, fighting the urge to slam the sleepy darkness into an obnoxious light. Years of avoiding the dark has made my eyesight poorer in an unlighted room, so the grainy vision distorted my view of my own limbs and the facial features of my own best friend. The familiar fear was rising.

So, I slowly crawled my way to the French window with heavy, floral curtains and sat on the carpeted floor, hugging my knees and resting my head on the window glass. The dazzling full moon shared its soft shine on the land and billions of sparkling bright stars speckled the blue-black airspace. The midnight wind gently caressed the tip of trees, letting branches full of leaves slow dance, and the crickets joined in to orchestrate a musical melody. Almost instantly, my eyes glistened with tears. I have been missing out on this heavenly experience, which led me to think that maybe the dark is not so bad after all. I don’t feel so alone and scared anymore.